Two for Friday

"Hey, Pal", the irate druggist shouted, "Put that cigar out while you are in my store!"

"I bought this cigar here!" claimed the Customer.

"Big Deal!", said the Druggist. "We sell condoms too."

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A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F".

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T".

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"

The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

It's Just Not Fair!

A little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping. His tears are streaming down his cheeks.

An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him. "What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?"

"It's mean!", the boy sniffed, "My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday!"

"That's awful indeed !", the lady replied angrily, "Your father is a real bastard!'

"Yes", said the little boy, "He had promised to me that I could do it."

The Blues Brothers

In case you have a little time on your hands...