What're We Talking About?

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again.

Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly, "in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

iPhone Arm

Helping in a Time of Need

I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, "Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but she putting up a Hell of a fight and wouldn't let go.

I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn't see anything... I finally decided that I should help.

It didn't take the three of us very long to get her handbag.