A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse.
Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and walked over to inspect it.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escaped her.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed and hoped a sales person didn't pop up right now. But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, is a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiles back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just by touching it, you are going to sh!t when you hear the price.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
By Any Other Name
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I really recommend it."
The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?"
The first man knits his brow in obvious concentration and finally says to his companion, "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"
His friend replies, "A Carnation?"
"No. No. The other one," the man says.
His friend offers another suggestion, "The Poppy?"
"No," growls the man, "You know the one that is red and has thorns."
His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, yes that's it," the first man says.
He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I really recommend it."
The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?"
The first man knits his brow in obvious concentration and finally says to his companion, "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"
His friend replies, "A Carnation?"
"No. No. The other one," the man says.
His friend offers another suggestion, "The Poppy?"
"No," growls the man, "You know the one that is red and has thorns."
His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, yes that's it," the first man says.
He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
Friday, July 28, 2006
Famous Last Words
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, SH!T!" Only the states of Oklahoma, Tennessee, Arkansas, Alabama and Texas were different. There, 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."
They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, SH!T!" Only the states of Oklahoma, Tennessee, Arkansas, Alabama and Texas were different. There, 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."
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