TGIF

Local police arrested two kids yesterday, one for drinking battery acid, and the other for eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

-------------------------------------------------------

Michael was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his diligence, he shivered and replied: "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me."

-------------------------------------------------------

Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..."

"I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late In the pregnancy."

"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."