Is Yer Pappy Home?

A Texas rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy opened the door.

"Is yer dad home?" the rancher asked.

"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the rancher, "is yer mom here?"

"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"He went with mom and dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take message fer pa."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."

"Whul," the boy said after considering that for a moment, "you would have to talk to pa about that. But if it helps you any, I know that pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I have no idea how much he gets fer Howard."