Investment Tips for the Rest of 2008

For all of you with any money left...

Merrill Lynch has just announced that it will be acquired by Bank of America.

Given the current economic situation, we can expect further merger and acquisition (M&A) activity. You can make a mint by anticipating these further mergers. Invest at your own risk!

Watch for these consolidations in the last quarter of 2008 -

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Cracker Barrel join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dupont, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDuDa

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBang Bang