Sending a Woman on a Man's errand

At the hardware store, Judy saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while she was waiting for Chuck, the manager, to finish waiting on a
customer.

When Chuck was finished, Judy asked how much for the teapot.
Chuck replied, "That's silver and it costs $100!"

"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Judy exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bobby had sent her to buy,
and Chuck went to the back room to find it.

From the back room Chuck yelled, "Judy, you wanna screw for that
hinge?"

Judy replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

And that is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.

Employment Question

Q: If big-breasted girls work at Hooters, where do one-legged girls work?

A: IHOP

A Woman with Everything

A man's boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean. He washes up on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on his back. He builds a small shelter and finds food and water, but he misses civilization more with each passing day.

While walking on the beach one day, he sees a beautiful woman emerge from the ocean wearing a scuba tank and a wetsuit. She says, "You look like you could use a smoke." She unzips a pocket on one arm of her wetsuit, pulls a Cuban cigar from inside, and hands it to the man. The man smokes slowly, and tells her that it is the finest cigar that he has ever smoked.

"How about a drink?" the woman asks. She unzips another pocket, reaches in, and pulls out a small flask. "It's a 17-year-old, single malt scotch, aged in oak," the woman tells him. The man is almost beside himself with joy as he sips the drink.

The woman then begins unzipping the front of her wetsuit. "Want to play around?" she asks.

"Holy Cow!" the man says. "You have a set of golf clubs in there too?"