You Can't Take It With You - Or Can You?

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. He told his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied,

"Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Merry Thanksgivoween!

What Does This Button Do?

A man traveling on a new modern plane was in urgent need of using the restroom. Each time he tried to use it, it was occupied.

The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the ladies room but she cautioned him against pressing any of the buttons.

The man agreed and rushed into the restroom to relieve himself.

He noticed four buttons marked "WW", "WA", "PP" and "ATR". Making a fateful mistake many men make in disregarding what a woman says, the man allowed his curiosity to get the best of him and decided to try to the buttons anyway.

He carefully pressed the first button, marked "WW", and immediately warm water sprayed his entire bottom.

He thought," Golly, the gals really got it made".

Still curious, he pressed the second button, marked "WA", and warm air dried his bottom off gently and quickly. He thought that was out of this world.

The button marked "PP" caused a large powder puff to powder his bottom with a sweet smelling silky powder.

Well naturally he couldn't resist pressing the last button marked "ATR".

When he woke up in the hospital, he panicked and buzzed the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened? The last thing I remember I was in the ladies room aboard a plane."

The nurse replied "Yes, and you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button"

"What the hell does "ATR" stand for?" asked the man.

"Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."