A correspondent from Fox News, one from CNN, and a tough old U.S. Marine Gunny were
all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists
told them that he would grant them each one last request before
they were beheaded .

The Fox News said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last
bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling
who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said,
"Now I can die content."

Katie Couric said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take
out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's
about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know
that I was on the job till the end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and
Couric dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is
your final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the
Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9
mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the
resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his M4
carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis
were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather and Couric, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask
them to kick you in the ass first?"

What," replied the Marine, "and have you two assholes report
that I was the aggressor?