Another Talking Dog in a Bar Joke

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He sits down, and the dog plops onto the stool beside him. The man says, "Give me a shot of whiskey, and Fred here will have a beer."

The bartender says, "Sorry, buddy, that dog can't be in here."

Man says, "But Fred's special. He can talk. Show him, Fred."

So the dog says, "I'd like a beer."

The bartender isn't convinced. "Look, buddy, I don't know what kind of ventriloquist act you're pulling here, but that dog can't stay."

The man says, "Ok, look: I'll go in the bathroom and close the door. Fred, you then order a beer. This will prove it."

Guy goes to the bathroom, closes the door, and Fred looks at the bartender and says, "I'd like a beer."

"Wow," the bartender says, "this is awesome. You can talk! Hey, I want you to do something for me. Take this $ 20 bill, run across the street to Sam's bar and order a beer. It will freak him out!"

So Fred takes the $20 bill in his mouth and heads out the door. Guy comes out of the bathroom, says, "Where's Fred?" The bartender tells him what he did, and the man says, "Oh, no!" and rushes out the door. Once outside, he finds Fred in a side alley, humping a female dog for all she's worth.

"Fred," he yells, "what's gotten into you? You've never done this before!"

Fred looks up and says, "That's cause I never had $ 20 before."