Investment Outlook 2007

From the Investment Firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe come these investment tips for 2007.

With market values at record highs the amounts of cash that Corporate America currently has on its hands, 2007 will be a big year for Mergers and Acquisitions. D,C,&H recommend taking positions in the names that follow, as above average returns should result.

Here are the consolidations expected in 2007:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W. R.Grace will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally..........

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: Titty Titty Bang Bang!